ily

what.

I don't think I got all of that just now.

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Original: warmth
ily
samisaywhat
Title: warmth
Author: samisaywhat 
Count: 2,020 word
Summary: an original oneshot about my characters, Davey and Dyne. Sap.

It was obvious that I wasn't good at falling asleep alone. It had become a habit that I picked up soon after being taken in. I was like some type of animal; I needed to be near my master in order to do anything. I had become a spoiled brat before I knew.

It was bound to happen.

I crept into the room quietly, silently thanking the door for being quiet. He didn't seem to notice me (I never did learn that he always noticed me). It was silent for a moment, and I came up breathlessly to his side. He barely took the time to acknowledge me. He kept his eyes on his book, reading with no exact interest. I could never understand it, but I always had a need to hear what directed his attention for such a long period of time.

"Dyne," I said quietly. He looked down at me, now that I had climbed comfortably into his bed, "Read to me?" It wasn't much a request as a demand but I had learned to be polite.
"Why are you still up?" He seemed more interested in my bedtime than my desire.
"I can't sleep"
"Why is that?" he wanted me to admit a deeper yearning. I wanted to be near him and he knew it.
"I get lonely," I was beating around the bush. "You won't say it because I already know"
"If you know than why should I say it?" I acquired such wit from him long before.
"Ah, because I desire it," he said gently and softened his gaze.

I lost.

He placed his book down, without marking the page he was on. His glasses went next, folded delicately and set on a cloth. Pulling me into his arms, he kissed my forehead sweetly which made me sigh sleepily. I wasn't exactly tired, no, I had been eased of that contentious feeling. Before, I would've tried to pull away and reject his affection. Almost magically, I had been swayed into a lovesick puppy.

"You beg me to hold you and yet here you are deep in thought, ignoring my affections." Even if I knew he was teasing me, I couldn't help but feel bad.
"I..." he only smiled and hushed me. Of course there wasn't any need of my apology or frown but somehow both had made it to my lips. I looked at him sadly until he began to mimic my expression. He pulled his lower lip over the rest of his mouth and widened his eyes in an attempt to either be an idiot or make me laugh. They both worked.

Sometimes, I really hated Dyne.

"I know," he would answer me, stroking my hair all the same. Nothing phased him. He knew me too well.

I couldn't ever really hate him.

He kissed me again. This time I couldn't ignore him. He had become more passionate and demanding, pulling me out of my thoughts. Even as I attempted to push him away, my fingers somehow wound themselves into his shirt and pulled him closer.

"I'm pathetic," I admitted breathlessly. He only smirked and kissed my jaw. He needn't repeat himself; it had been said over and over again: "Why should you care?" was the famous line. I had to care. "I'll read to you," he finally answered, "Give me a moment."

A moment wasn't the proper word. He wanted to finish tending to me first and by the time he would be finished, I'd be just about ready to sleep. I didn't mind. Dyne would keep his promise and continue to read to me long after I'd fallen asleep. He would read until I began to cling to his arm and whistle through my nose. I didn't really know why I made such a noise. My nose wasn't stuffy-- even if it was, I slept with my mouth slightly ajar. It didn't bother anyone; on contrary, it pleased the strange man. He brought it up suddenly one night and commented on how 'cute' it was.

A moment had gone by slowly. At first, I wondered if it was endless (not that I minded). I rested in his arms as he lifted his book and glasses. Placing the frame over his eyes and firmly on his nose, he brought the book close enough for me to follow along. By now, I could read something as complicated as this. When I first arrived, I could barely spell properly. Now, I was as literate and educated as a child who went to private school. Dyne taught me everything from writing to physics. I didn't really understand why I needed to learn the sciences but it seemed important to the man. I couldn't refuse.

"You'll start us off," he offered me. I nodded and began to read the text in a quiet, yet clear tone. I had become an excellent reader through many harsh and tedious lessons. Dyne followed along and stopped me after a few pages. When he began to read, my eyes automatically locked on to his. I watched as they moved from either side along with the text in fascination. Dyne's level of education was higher than anyone I knew. He had such a high regard of learning that it began to rub on me. These night readings were not the only time I begged to be read to. I usually caught him early in the evening reading the newspaper or a biography of some famous person I never heard of. How I retained the words of each collection, I could not say. Perhaps it was my need to conversate about the readings later on with Dyne. He said that discussing the book was a better way to remember it.

Sometimes I would think if I even liked reading. While it didn't bore me, I wasn't extremely excited to read. I wondered if I just wanted something that connected us.

I was afraid.

It's really such an embarrassing idea; he doesn't even care about that boy anymore, right? Or at least, that is what he's told me. Is it believable? I don't know. I don't know what to think. I know what I'd like to think. I'd like to think that he was mine but then I'd become sickened with myself. How could I ever try to claim someone? Being who I am, when did I obtain such a right? Never.

"Dyne, what am I?" Sometimes I'd be possessed to ask such questions. I meant to say "to you" afterwards but the words refused to come out.
"A boy," replied he.
"... but I mean," I couldn't say it; too embarrassing.
"More than enough." Strangely, he already knew.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Depends"
"On what"
"On the person judging."

Ah, how complicated was this man? I just couldn't get him sometimes. Seemingly enough, I couldn't get enough of him. Not only did he make me feel incompetent, he made me feel so high and mighty. It was hit or miss and well, I'd /like/ to say I was on point most of the time.

Sometime's I'd either feel depressed or angry. Dyne knew just how to play with words and I hated it. If I would get the "I" and "you" out of the phrase, he'd only nod and kiss me. If he knew what I wanted to say, couldn't he say it back? That'd make it a lot easier for me to say it. I'm not embarrassed, I just want to make sure that I'll get it back in return. I'd hope. I guess I needed courage more than anything. I never tried to think about how Dyne felt. Did he think I was pathetic? Did he just want me to say whatever was on my mind without getting flustered?

I needed to know.

"Dyne," I called over to him. He was sitting at his desk, one hand propped under his chin. He didn't answer. I tried again and again he did not answer. Yeah, I was pissed. It was one thing to just look at me and smile but to ignore me? How... rude! I walked over to him and place a hand on his shoulder, "D-Dyne!" I said in an almost frightened voice. "...hm?" He shifted his body weight and opened his eyes. He had been sleeping?
"I'm sorry, I... I didn't know you were"
"It's fine, don't worry. Now what is it"
"Huh?" "What would you like to tell me?"
 "Ah... well, it's embarrassing..." I said shyly pulling on his shirt. He smiled and peered at me through silver strands.
"Everything you say is embarrassing, right? Where are you... trying to pull me?" He chuckled.
"Not here," I said and tugged at him, "I won't say it here"
"Fine," he smiled and stood up. Dyne towered over me when he stood. I think he was a full foot and some odds higher than me. His face was mature, thin eyes and a fairly thin mouth. His silver hair was usually never brushed into a suitable style; instead it just swayed over the sides of his face, a few unruley strands going down to his neck. God, I felt like an idiot when I looked at him.

He didn't take the lead and waited patiently for me to drag him off. I didn't actually have a place in mind so I just took him to my room. It was small compared to his and barely decorated. Why decorate a room that no one stays in? It was only my room for name and show, nothing more.

I hurried over to my bed and motioned him to sit down. He gave me a slightly confused look (which was rare) but sat down all the same. I looked around shyly before looking at him straightly, "I want to know everything," I said firmly, throwing all of my fears away. If I didn't ask, I would never know. I desired it more than anything.
"Everything?" He asked suddenly.
"What you think about me... what you like or not"
"Ah. It's so strange for you to say such a thing. I always thought you didn't want to know. Why"
"Because I desire it"
"Fair enough," he laughed, "Where shall I start"
"The beginning. I said everything"
"Hm, I guess from your abduction then. I'm sure you're wondering why I even took you in. You were suitable for my eyes. I liked the way you /looked/, even if you were just some scavenger. You had to be mine, forcefully if needed. Understand that I'm a shallow person. It didn't matter what you were like. If I could turn you into an empty shell, it would have been enough for a while. But you exceeded my expectations by far.
"You became more than this little boy I picked up on a whim. You wanted to learn; you questioned. You were eager to know me instead of wishing to leave. I treated you badly and you responded with affection instead of tears. I though 'how strange' at first. Slowly you became this epitome of intelligence, surprisingly enough. A boy taken from the streets... turned into..." he stopped.
"...into"
"Well, look at you. Isn't that enough? You're spectacular, aren't you? Don't you have any self-esteem? You come and ask me what I think when you know very well what I think. You needed reassurance, I suppose. But my love is enough"
"Then say it!" I shouted. If he loved me, then I should be able to hear it. "Come here," he beckoned me over to his lap. I hesitated at first but went to him. He pulled me closer, so our eyes were lined perfectly. I blushed.
"Say it," I said again earnestly.
"I love you, Davey."

I think I cried.



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